


Distraction

by Mekina



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Dean's lack of self esteem, Gen, Preseries, Stanford Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-08
Updated: 2012-09-08
Packaged: 2017-11-13 19:13:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/506778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mekina/pseuds/Mekina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean's a distraction. He's holding Sam back. Sammy doesn't want to talk to him anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Distraction

Dean automatically looks over his shoulder for his father as he answers the call. It's not that he has a problem with Dad, it's just, Sam asked him not to let him know they talked. He doesn't know if Sam is afraid of John trying to talk to him or what, but he respects the request.

"Sammy," he breathes, unable to contain his grin. Talking to Sam always makes him smile, even as it causes loneliness and sadness to rip through him. Fuck, he misses his brother. Misses having him on the other side of the Impala, misses hunting with him... He misses the arguments, the bitchfaces, Sam and his stupid girly drinks.

He misses having a brother.

"Hey, Dean." Sam's voice is quiet. If Dean had to hazard a guess, he'd say Sam is in the library. Giant geek. He goes away to college, where there's no end to gorgeous chicks, and parties, and plenty of beer, and he spends his time buried in books. Some things never change. "How you doing? Where are you?"

"'m fine. Down in Mississippi with Dad, just took care of a real nasty poltergeist." He senses the question Sam is going to ask, and says, "We're both in one piece. Got a massive bruise from a flying TV, but apart from that, it's all good. How's it in sunny California?"

Sam's quiet, and Dean settles back against the Impala's trunk, listening to him breathe. He misses that, too. It's harder for him to breathe at night, without Sam's sleeping sounds. Sometimes the only way for him to get any rest is to close his eyes and pretend Dad is Sam. Even that doesn't always work, because when Dad snores he sounds nothing like Sam.

"Dean, I...I can't do this anymore."

"Sam?" His heart leaps, breath hitching. Is Sam...is he going to come back? Are they going to be a family again?

"We need to stop. The phone calls," Sam clarifies, voice thick with emotion. "I can't, can't anymore. I need to focus on my work. I gotta." He stops. Swallows loudly. "I gotta move on. As long as we talk, I can't do that. It just makes me miss...it's a distraction."

Dean's a distraction. He's holding Sam back. Sammy doesn't want to talk to him anymore.

Sam wants to move on. He probably has friends, maybe even a girlfriend. He doesn't want to think about the family he left behind, the brother and father he couldn't get far enough away from.

"Yeah." His hand is so tight around his phone he's half worried the casing will crack. "Okay. Whatever you have to do." He can't even find the strength to argue, or try to convince Sam to reconsider. He's through being a burden to Sam. Bad enough he's dragging Dad down with his less than stellar hunting. Since Sam left, he hasn't been on the mark. He was too slow earlier, he let that poltergeist get the better of him. He's not gonna do the same to Sam, too. "Do your thing. Don't do anything I wouldn't."

"Bye, Dean." Sam hangs up.

That's it, then. Dean's arm falls down to dangle limply. Sam's cut contact, he's free from all distractions.

He shakes his head, marches back inside. He isn't going to cry. Not over this. It's what's best for Sam.

When Dad tells him he thinks they should go their own ways for awhile later that day, Dean accepts it silently, wishing he could just do better so that his family wasn't in such a hurry to get away from him.


End file.
